How To Make A Hobbit Brave In Five Minutes Or Less: For Love of Thorin
by Denigoddess2001
Summary: "All right you scum-sucking dung heaps," she yelled with more bravado than bravery. "Burn in Mt. Doom for all I care." With the accuracy possessed by a three-time Shire Conkers champion, Belladonna Baggins pitched that burning pine cone right into the open maw of one stupid, pitiful warg. Never make a hobbit mad, especially one in love. Mt. Doom hath no fury like a Took scorned.


Disclaimer: All the characters appearing in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings are copyrighted by Warner Brothers and the J.R.R. Tolkien estate. No infringement of these copyrights intended, and is not authorized by the copyright holder. I write this fan fiction only for love of the The Hobbit and not for profit.

Last time on How To Make A Hobbit Do Things in Five Minutes Or Less. . .

. . . "Bella, you're all right!" Kili exclaimed, stepping forward to meet her. "How did the Goblins not see you?"

"Yes, how is that possible?" Gandalf pondered aloud, studying Bella with narrowed eyes.

Bella still held the ring in her hand, quickly slipping it into her pocket. Her mind searched frantically for a viable explanation until she could only say, "Well, a lady doesn't give away all of her secrets or her luck."

"It's of no consequence," Gandalf dismissed the question. "You've returned."

"It is of consequence," Thorin countered, stepping forward with his eyes locked only on Bella. His voice grew quiet "I must know. Why did you return?"

"Thorin, I know you doubt me and that hurts the most," Bella shrugged, sticking her hands in the pockets of her skirt. "You're right, I often miss the Shire and my little piece of paradise. I miss my books and my arm chair and my hearth. That was where I belonged and that was home for me. This reason I returned to you all is because home is where you make it, but you don't have one yet because it was taken from you. I will do what I can to help you regain it."

Thorin's eyes fell from hers as he swallowed, staring only at the ground for several seconds as the group took in her words. When he looked at her again, his eyes were vividly blue and shining with the glint of the morning sun in them. He nodded his understanding and made his way toward Bella with purpose in every step. Bella watched him, trying to determine if the expression on his face was one of anger or of acceptance.

"Bella," Thorin began, swallowing the large lump in his throat. "I don't know where to begin with you."

"How about at the beginning?" Bella looked into deep blue eyes, the ragged edge in his voice revealing Thorin's regret and longing.

"There are so many things-" he began, cupping her cheek. She turned her face into his palm, pressing a gentle kiss against his calloused hand. Howls and roars in the distance came through the morning air. Thorin turned his head to the directions from where they came. "We will have to finish this conversation later, Men Kala. Out of the frying pan. . .'

"And into the fire!" Gandalf finished for him. "Run! RUN!"

Azog led the charge down the hillside toward his intended prey, the smell of the hunt heavy in the air for his pack of wargs. They gained ground as the Dwarrows desperately ran for any protection they could find. The wargs howled their victory as they gained ground on their intended victims as Dwarrows darted under trees and around boulders they ran until the pack caught up with them.

Bella lost her footing in the dark on the ground cursed with unseen boulders and twisted branches, falling to the ground and getting a mouth full of dirty for her trouble. She rolled onto her back to see a giant warg soar over hear and land on the boulder in front of her. It lept toward her with jaws open, showing every snaggled tooth the beast possessed. Bella had no time to think, but react, drawing Sting from its sheath and holding it in front of her. The warg snarled as it charged her, impaling itself upon her extended blade and pushing her back into a tree. A look of abject amazement froze Bella in place as she hyperventilated, trying to regain her composure instead of fainting where she stood.

She watched the warriors around her do battle with the fiends, but there were too many and they came too fast, quickly overtaking the company. Gandalf commanded everyone to take to the trees for their protection and Bella scurried sword over skirts in the tree ahead of her. Bella had a tight grip on the branches around her, her tender fingers digging deeply into the pine bark. She heard Azog speak in the Black Speech of his people, before motioning them toward her and the company.

The war party charged the pines rooted at the edge of the cliff while the wargs rammed the trunks, knocking the mighty pines over like dominoes. The Dwarrows bravely lept through the air to the single remain tree, knowing their options were grim. Bella didn't have time to say a prayer or feel regrets, she hoped the ending would be quick and fairly painless.

She saw a flaming comet speed past her toward the hunters, striking the ground between the war arty and the Company and setting the dry kindling ablaze. She looked up to see Gandalf using his staff to set large pine cones ablaze, handing them to Dwarrows to hurl at their enemies. _Clever_, she thought. _A fire wall will buy us some time, but by the Valar! We need a miracle._

_I'm going out in a blaze of glory_, she mused wryly in all the chaos. Grabbing a pine cone, she motioned to Fili to put his flaming cone to hers. "Light me up!"

"With pleasure, Mistress Baggins!" he beamed a large grin toward her.

"All right you tit-sucking dung heaps," she yelled with more bravado than she felt. "Burn in Mt. Doom for all I care." With the accuracy possessed by a three-time all Shire Conkers champion, Belladonna Baggins pitched that burning pine cone right into the open maw of one stupid, pitiful warg. It yelped in surprise, inspiring Bella to let out a very Tookish war cry.

The weight of one wizard, a Hobbit and thirteen Dwarrows was too much for one lonely pine tree.

Gravity commanded it fall toward the valley farm below the Company. Bella saw Thorin step over her with Orcist drawn, walking through the flames then racing with his oaken shield raised a a Khudzul oath filled the pre-dawn forest Bella saw Azog grin with glee as he kicked his warg to charge the lone Dwarf.

The crude Orcish battle mace crashed into Thorin's jaw, sending him flying several feet until he crashed upon the rocky ground flat on his back. Azog brought his warg to a halt, circling back to finish his foe as Thorin struggled to get to his feet With grim determination on his face, Thorin suffered another blow from Azog's mace, this time even through the crackling of flame, Bella heard the cracking of bone. She heard Balin's sorrowful cry of disbelief and she couldn't bear to look as Azog brought Thorin closer to death with each strike. She saw the warg's maw grab Thorin around the waist, sinking its teeth into his flesh and shaking him as though he were little more than a small child.

One of the war party moved forward with sword raised, striding toward Thorin who lay very still upon the ground. The Prince reached for Orcist, but the sword lay just beyond his grasp by inches. Bella bolted from the pine and tackled the unsuspecting Orc before he knew what hit him. Mt. Doom hath no fury like a Hobbit scorned.

"You urine-soaked, undergrown, runt of a maggot-" she swore, plunging Sting deep into the belly of her enemy until he no longer moved.

Pulling Sting from his bowels, Bella quickly placed herself between Thorin's broken body and Azog. A slow grin revealed his filed, pointy teeth as he gave her an evil grin. "Oh, you have fire, little Hobbit. I think I shall have fun raping your sweet little body atop Oakenshield's corpse."

She new it was her moment to die, but Belladonna Baggins refused to do it standing still. Swinging Sting, she waited for the attack, but instead heard the rallying cry of the Dwarrows as Fili and Kili led their charge. Sword clanged and wargs howled as the firelight cast long shadows of the battle across the bedrock. With love for Thorin giving her more courage than she had felt, she silently promised to defend him with her last breath As an Orc astride a warg charged her, she returned that charge with equal fury, letting Sting slice her signature deep into the beast's hide.

The shrill screeches broke the battle roars in the last vestments of night, followed by gigantic raptors swooping down from the skies, picking up the wargs and throwing their bodies far over the cliffs behind them. Bella could only gawk in dumbfoundment as several large eagles came from nowhere, tearing into the flesh of the war party and dropping their torn bodies into the flames surrounding them. She watched as the largest of the eagles picked up Thorin's body gently in its talons while another grabbed his oaken shield. Then, Bella felt claws wrap around her, pulling her into the air before dropping her on the back of a soaring eagle.

The giant eagles flew south to the valley where waterfalls flowed and sunshine abounded. The first rose and golden rays of dawn shown down upon the company, but none felt the sun's warmth that morning. Victory for the Company was due more so to Providence and luck rather than skill and superiority. Had it not been for Gandalf's eagle allies, Bella knew the party would have been lost to Azog and his pack of carnivorous wargs.

The large raptors gently deposited the Company on a rock ledge high above and far beyond the reach of any surviving Orcs or wargs in Azog's war party. Bella saw one eagle lay down Thorin ever so gently, his mighty body now looked fragile and broken as he lie unconscious on the rough rock. Her hand came to her mouth as she gasped, staring at his still form. His dark hair fanned out about him like a black and silver halo and the coral rays only highlighted abrasions and injuries Thorin's body endured.

Bella rushed forward from the eagle who saved her, stopping only a few feet from Thorin. She looked wide-eyed at Gandalf, shock and terror churning in her stomach caused bile to rise quickly in her throat. "Gandalf, please! Save him! Don't let him die."

"All that can be done I will do, Mistress Baggins," he said, his grim tone brought no hope to the Hobbit's heart. She sobbed, biting on her fist to keep some form of composure. It didn't help the wizard or Thorin if a distressed party member lost all self-control during a critical moment.

She watched intently as Gandalf knelt beside the broken warrior prince, closing his eyes and placing his fingers on Thorin's brow. The wizard's voice was low that Bella barely heard him mutter something in a tongue she didn't recognize. She watched Gandalf's flattened palm slow pass over Thorin's brow to his still chest. Bella stared as silence lingered in the morning air for several seconds.

Nothing.

No movement.

Her Dwarven Prince remained broken.

Hot tears burned her eyelids as she did nothing to wipe them away. Her teeth left bite marks on her skin as she fought to contain the wail building inside her.

Wait.

Thorin's chest rose, fell then rose again. Bella took a few hesitant steps closer, standing only a few feet behind Gandalf.

"My Halfing?" Thorin's voice was quiet and hoarse to her ears. Nothing sounded as beautiful in all her existence as his voice did at that moment.

"All is well," Gandalf reassured Thorin. "It's all right. Bella is here and quite safe."

Bella felt her body tremble as a wave of relief wash over her. She finally remembered to breathe, exhaling the breath she held in her lungs. Joy spread through her being, the emotion matching the brightness and warmth of the sunrise surrounding her.

When Dwalin and Kili assisted Thorin to his feet, he pulled away from their grasp and focused his piercing stare on the Hobbit in front of him.

,

"What were you thinking? You nearly got yourself killed!" he demanded of her.

"I was trying to save your life!" the Took side of her took over her mouth in that instant. She saw Thorin glower at her with eyes dark like skies during a summer storm. He slowly strode forward, towering and menacing over Bella.

"Did I not predict you to be a burden?" he questioned her. "That you would not survive in the Wild?"

Bella planted her large feet soundly on the bedrock beneath her, squaring her shoulders as her hands doubled into fists. "Your company came to me, Thorin Oakenshield. Don't you even try to blame you're nearly dying on me, you undergrown-"

"Quiet, Halfling!" Thorin bellowed, his voice like thunder crashing in the morning air. The presence of storms grew within his soul and his voice commanded authority that all the Dwarrows remained speechless. The only one showing any defiance was the lass who stood her ground on that cliff, ready to give the menacing prince everything he had coming. "You had no place amongst us."

Thorin stopped only two feet from her and his rage and fear melted from him as his he shook his head. A smile replaced the snarl his face had worn, aloofness and disdain vanished as his eyes revealed his relief. He rushed forward, drawing Bella into his tight, powerful embrace. He inhaled her sweet floral scent of jasmine and clover, entwining his fingers in her hair. He held her so close that his heartbeat vibrated through her body. His breath tickled the shell of Bella's ear as he whispered something in Khuzdul. "_Men gajamu, Ghivashel._ _Azyungal, menu tessu. Men lanaubuks menu. _Oh, my Bella! I rejoice in never having been so wrong in all my life."

At that moment, she felt a tingling on the flesh of her inner wrist and she knew the name of her soul mate glowed brightly like sunshine in summer. Emotion swelled strongly within her, causing burning tear of anger to flow as tears of joy. She felt his lips linger, hot and present on her brow, marking her as his while her flesh against his bonded him to her. A perplexed look crossed his face, causing Thorin to tug back the sleeves of his coat and tunic. Bold black runes emblazoned his inner wrist causing him to gawk at them before a slow grin spread a cross his face. "I am sorry I doubted you. Forgive me."

She watched Thorin's gaze fall to earth and his head bow. It bewildered Bella's heart to see her proud warrior humble himself before this way. She brought her hand to his bearded jaw, gently prompting Thorin to meet her gaze. "I would have doubted me, too. I'm neither a heroine nor a warrior, barely a burglar. Let's start fresh along with this beautiful morning and this sunrise, Thorin. Leave the past in the past and be here with me now as my love."

He remained silent and stoic, but blue eyes looked to her and a small smile tugged at his lips. "You will be more than a heroine, warrior or burglar, _Ghivashel_. You will be my One and My Queen. . . if you will have me."

"You can never get rid of me, Thorin." Bella vowed. "You're stuck with me."

_Bella saw Thorin's tender gaze fall from her and star over her shoulder to the south. A look a blankness crossed features and he remained still. "Thorin, what is it?"_

_Bella turned to look over her shoulder to see what had captured her Prince's attention so completely. Her eyes fell upon a single towering spiral on the horizon, standing tall and alone against the flat landscape. She felt callused fingers entwine with hers as Thorin brought his lips to the back of her hand, kissing the tender flesh and making it dance with the sensation of his touch. "Is that what I think it is?"_

_He led the way up the rock ledge where they all stood, taking her hand and bringing her with him._

_"Erebor," Gandalf broke the solemn silence. "the Lonely Mountain, the last great Dwarven kingdom of Middle Earth."_

_Thorin looked to Bella, kissing her hand before drawing her to his side and wrapping one strong arm around her. "Our home where you shall be queen."_

_A bird chirped in the sky, fluttering past them as it flew toward the distant peak._

_"A raven," Oin said, stroking his thick with the two horseshoe braids. "The birds fly to the mountain."_

_"Correction, old friend," Gandalf gently rectified the the Seer."that isn't a raven, but a thrush."_

_"I can see that," Oin answered. "I may be deaf, but not blind."_

_"We will take it a sign, a good omen." Thorin's warm gaze filled Bella's heart and stole her breath. _

_NOT THE END. . . _

_Author's notes: Khuzdul: ____Men gajamu, Ghivashel.__ Azyungal, menu tessu. Men lanaubuks menu. _

_English Translation: __**I apologize, Treasure of Treasures. My Love, you are my everything. I love you."**_


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